Horror Story

            In a small house isolated in the deep forests of Durbia, Kentucky, Brad and his sister Doris Masterson waited patiently for their parents to come home from work. Their babysitter left about 15 minutes ago when Brad’s parents said she could, so the two adolescents sat alone in the living room, a touch of anxiety starting to creep upon them. They were always a bit anxious living in the woods in Kentucky, but were usually comforted by some type of authority figure that was always around.

            About an hour later, the two became much more nervous as their parents had still not contacted them. However, it was raining heavily outside, so they began to assume that their parents were just running a little late from their 2 hour drive to the nearest city. They declared their scared feelings superfluous and went to their rooms to get a good night sleep, hopeful to awake the next day with the sight of their parents’ smiling faces.

            Brad jolted awake from his dream of rainbows and unicorns to his sister slamming his door shut and locking it.

            “Doris! What on earth are you doing?” Brad exclaimed as he sat up half awake in his bed.

            “I looked out the window in my room Brad,” Doris muttered, “and a strange car was pulling up to our driveway. I’m scared Brad…” The Mastersons hadn’t had a visitor since they moved to the house 10 years ago. They hadn’t even received a letter in the mail, so they were virtually non-existent to the regular world.

            “It’s probably just stranger that got lost in the woods Doris, there’s no need to be scared.” Brad didn’t seem phased by the stranger at first, but then he thought of his parents. The combination of the odd occurrence of the car and the disappearance of his parents made Brad second-guess himself.

            “Ok this does seem a little weird now Doris. Let’s stay in my room until the man leaves or we hear our parents’ voices,” Brad declared.

            After about 10 minutes of sitting in silence, they heard the front door creep open. Doris wanted to call out to see if it was their parents but Brad stopped her, saying it wasn’t a good idea. The footsteps were slow and heavy, and now moved up the steps leading to the floor that Brad’s bedroom was on.           

“Creeeeek, creeeeek, “ the floorboards outside of Brad’s bedroom sounded as him Doris hid frightened under Brad’s bed.

            “Br-brad, who’s wa-walking around out there?” Doris whispered nervously as the two children laid staring at the door. Her usually ardent voice now sounded nervous and dull.

            “Sssshhhhh,” Brad whispered as he put his finger to his lips.

            The footsteps came closer and closer to his room and they heard the doorknob shake. They could practically hear each other’s hearts thumping as they tried desperately to stay silent.

            The door instantly whipped open and a shadowy figure appeared in the doorway. All they could see as the figure moved slowly towards them was a pair of boots that appeared to be covered in blood. Doris could no longer hold her silence and let out a cry of hope and desperation.

            “Doris No! Stop!!!” Brad cried.

            The last thing Brad and Doris saw was a bloody, scarred head sitting on a body with two other heads… the heads of the their missing parents.

            In a small house isolated in the deep forests of Durbia, Kentucky, Brad and his sister Doris Masterson waited patiently for their parents to come home from work. Their babysitter left about 15 minutes ago when Brad’s parents said she could, so the two adolescents sat alone in the living room, a touch of anxiety starting to creep upon them. They were always a bit anxious living in the woods in Kentucky, but were usually comforted by some type of authority figure that was always around.

            About an hour later, the two became much more nervous as their parents had still not contacted them. However, it was raining heavily outside, so they began to assume that their parents were just running a little late from their 2 hour drive to the nearest city. They declared their scared feelings superfluous and went to their rooms to get a good night sleep, hopeful to awake the next day with the sight of their parents’ smiling faces.

            Brad jolted awake from his dream of rainbows and unicorns to his sister slamming his door shut and locking it.

            “Doris! What on earth are you doing?” Brad exclaimed as he sat up half awake in his bed.

            “I looked out the window in my room Brad,” Doris muttered, “and a strange car was pulling up to our driveway. I’m scared Brad…” The Mastersons hadn’t had a visitor since they moved to the house 10 years ago. They hadn’t even received a letter in the mail, so they were virtually non-existent to the regular world.

            “It’s probably just stranger that got lost in the woods Doris, there’s no need to be scared.” Brad didn’t seem phased by the stranger at first, but then he thought of his parents. The combination of the odd occurrence of the car and the disappearance of his parents made Brad second-guess himself.

            “Ok this does seem a little weird now Doris. Let’s stay in my room until the man leaves or we hear our parents’ voices,” Brad declared.

            After about 10 minutes of sitting in silence, they heard the front door creep open. Doris wanted to call out to see if it was their parents but Brad stopped her, saying it wasn’t a good idea. The footsteps were slow and heavy, and now moved up the steps leading to the floor that Brad’s bedroom was on.           

“Creeeeek, creeeeek, “ the floorboards outside of Brad’s bedroom sounded as him Doris hid frightened under Brad’s bed.

            “Br-brad, who’s wa-walking around out there?” Doris whispered nervously as the two children laid staring at the door. Her usually ardent voice now sounded nervous and dull.

            “Sssshhhhh,” Brad whispered as he put his finger to his lips.

            The footsteps came closer and closer to his room and they heard the doorknob shake. They could practically hear each other’s hearts thumping as they tried desperately to stay silent.

            The door instantly whipped open and a shadowy figure appeared in the doorway. All they could see as the figure moved slowly towards them was a pair of boots that appeared to be covered in blood. Doris could no longer hold her silence and let out a cry of hope and desperation.

            “Doris No! Stop!!!” Brad cried.

            The last thing Brad and Doris saw was a bloody, scarred head sitting on a body with two other heads… the heads of the their missing parents.

Onion Article

Gabe Berlovitz named State Farm's "Safest Driver of the Year"

Locally known rodeo clown Gabriel Berlovitz was named State Farm's Safest Driver of the Year in a close battle between NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson and a newborn baby. The baby would have won the award but was seen running a stop sign near her house in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Berlovitz is known for his prominence in politics but it was no surprise that his driving skills were finally recognized. For this achievement, Berlovitz was awarded $1,000,000 and a license to drive a taxi.

            The day Berlovitz got his license, he knew he would be a superb driver. Just a few weeks after he passed his test, he got into his first car crash. Driving in a wild chase to hunt someone down in a game called “assassins”, Gabe T-Boned a car in the middle of an intersection. Not only did he total both cars at the scene, he also managed to break the driver of the car’s shoulder and give his wife whiplash. The expenses of this accident were massive, but they did not stop Berlovitz from crashing on several different occasions.

            Just a few months later, Gabe was driving to school on a lazy Monday morning. He was pulling into the parking lot at South High and did not see a brand new Chevy Impala coming from his left. He turned left and slammed into the car head on as a bewildered Lauren Anderson watched the event take its course. The crash broke Anderson’s knee and it would later require several surgeries to repair it. Lauren Anderson father, Neil Anderson was heard saying, “That Gabe kid again… I’m gunna have to teach him a lesson”. Berlovitz again paid for the cost of fixing his own car and the victim’s car, as well as the cost of the knee surgery.

            The next day, Berlovitz had completely forgot about what had happened the day before. He was driving 70 mph down Hiawatha Avenue eating a Big Mac and calling one of his girlfriends when a stray dog came running into the middle of the street. He did not have time to stop his car and the impact of the collision sent the puppy flying 100 feet down the street. Berlovitz drove up to where the dog landed to see it get up and gingerly walk away. Luckily, Baxter the dog only suffered a sprained back and broken heart. Gabe shook off what had just happened and sped away, narrowly missing three parked cars and a few elders crossing the street.

            After these instances, Berlovitz reflected on the damage he had caused the people he hurt. He realized no one died and instantly felt no guilt from that point on. Even after all of these accidents, the award was still handed to Berlovitz as no one else in the world proved to be a better driver. “I hope everyone learns from my amazing skills and models the way I drive from this day on. I am very happy to accept this award and will continue driving this way until I die in a car crash,” Berlovitz said in a press conference. Berlovitz will be looking for his 5^th consecutive State Farm’s “Safest Driver of the Year” in 2012.

Blog Post 1

Overlooking the railing of the ferry on Lake Superior, I felt a strong sense of freedom and peacefulness with nature. I felt a strong connection with the vast body of water that lightly rippled as a pleasant breeze blew upon my face. ‘This is what heaven must feel like’, I remembered thinking as we reached the halfway point of the ferry ride. Simon, my brother and I were anxious to get across the lake and enter a world of relaxation and bliss. We couldn’t wait to spend a carefree weekend on the legend known as Madeline Island.

We finally reached the campsite after a slow drive through the small town where various events and stores are held. After a long day of hanging out and checking out the site and its surroundings, all of the children that stayed at the camp gathered around for night games. The next few days were filled with journeys to the small town, skateboarding and soccer, and nights of listening to Simon’s dad’s band play their music. The most fun activity, however, was yet to come.

I sat on the enormous rock and gazed hopelessly into Lake Superior, wishing the orange cast was not trapping my defenseless hand. Watching the other kids take the leap of faith into the icy depths of Lake Superior without doing so myself was like a kid locked out of a candy store. The cast that enclosed my broken, surgically repaired pinky was not water proof and could cause damage or infection to where my finger was cut into if water seeped in. Finally, after days of hiking to the rocks to solely watch others jump into the water, Simon’s mom thought of an idea to save me from hours of boredom. She wrapped my arm in duct tape and plastic bags until we felt my cast was completely sealed from any type of hole or air. We took the long trip through the woods to where the rocks were located, only this time I knew I would have fun with the rest of the kids.

 The excitement that rushed my body and mind when I jumped for the first time into that lake will forever remain in my memories. Just the experience of taking that leap defined what a trip to an island is meant to be; a blood rushing, fun filled escape from reality that adds its own touch of relaxation as well. As I reflect on the trip as a whole, I can’t help but say to myself, “that was some adventure, huh?”